Tips for Bully-Proofing Your Children

By Leslie Korns, LSW, PCC-S

Bully-Proof Your Child  By Leslie Korns, LSW,PCC-S, Chrysalis Counseling Center, Inc.

Effective strategies to empower your child whether he/she is a victim or bystander of bullying behavior. 

Role-Play
* Role-playing is a great way to help your child gain insight into him or herself and others. It can help your child become more sensitive to the positions of others and help him or her understand how others see him/her and also improve your child's confidence.

How to use role-play with your child to defend against bullying

1) Create an environment for your child so that he can feel safe expressing himself.  This means LISTEN without judgement to the experiences he’s been having at school.  Do not initially begin to problem solve with your child, only provide validation to his emotions.  Examples: “What a difficult situation you were in”; “That must have been so embarrassing,” etc.

2) Create with your child a list of responses that will include these three points: statement of how they feel, asking the bully to stop, and finally walking away.

3) Practice: Caregivers-you be the bully, ask your children to respond with a direct, firm tone of voice that will demonstrate confidence and assertion.  It may feel awkward initially, but practice will improve confidence and allow your children to have quick responses when faced with this situation outside of the home. 

**Utilize your child’s personality.  For example, don’t be afraid to use humor in warding off a bullying situation. 
***Stay away from “stooping to their level” with insulting comments, counter-attacks, or threats. For example, “You’re an idiot…”

A list of common responses: Ways to throw a Bully off course

1) Agree with the Bully e.g. Bully: Your nose is HUGE
                                                                Student: Yeah, I guess it does stand out.
2) Let the Bully know he’s not the voice of all students e.g. Bully: You have NO friends!
                                                                                                                                Student: That’s your opinion.
3) If the bully continues to instigate, encourage your child to end the conversation and walk away.

Websites for role-play ideas
http://www.teachpeacenow.org/antibullyingroleplays.html

http://www.kidsinco.com/2011/05/stop-bullying/

Some Signs and Symptoms of Bullying  By Janna Leeper, MSSA, LISW-S, Chrysalis Counseling Center, Inc

* Belongings getting lost or damaged

* Unexplained injuries

* Not wanting to go to school or skipping school

* Grades slipping

* Asking for or stealing money

* Change in eating or sleeping patterns

* Change in mood and behaviors – more withdrawn, less confident, more nervous

* Increase in aggressive behaviors

* More clingy

Leslie Korns and Janna Leeper are outpatient clinicians with Chrysalis Counseling Center, Inc., who have over ten years' experience working with children, adolescents, and families.